Saturday, December 31, 2011

Christmas Break Ketchup

11 Days of Christmas Break
By Beautiful Lady

On the first day of Christmas Break
I thought it wise to try
And update this blog before I die...

Way back in the summer
Before my best friend said "good-bye" (cuz she moved)
We saw tons of hot air balloons fly.

I tried the Sour Patch Kids drink
From Jamba Juice "secret" menu
I got my SOUR on at that venue.

Then I ate tongue
While sitting a rest'raunt El Salvador
It was good but I won't buy any more.


And then there's a Portabello
Mushroom that's so HUGE!
I had to make some food and not be a stooge.

I made a skirt without a pattern
'Twas a brain-drain
And in truth, it looks pretty plain.

At BYU, they have movie nights
Out there on the lawn
I went, and it was UP! that I saw.

I started teaching 4th grade
It has been really tough
But the kids I really do luff (love... but rhyming with tough)

For a scholarship luncheon
I ate some fancy food
It had 3 forks and nothing was stewed.

With my peep
I drove from UT to VA
In a truck with no air-condish'ning.

Kinda scary
But I learned how to drive a stick shift
But for your safety, please don't ask for a lift.

I know that this is copping out
But I have a niece
I didn't help, but she's as cute as meece (plural: mouse?)


For my mom, as a gift
I crocheted the perfect Afghan
It's big, blue, and warm and cozy

That was a little catch-up.
(Why not mustard?)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

So, I have this friend, right? Anyway, when my friend was in 6th grade, she was desperately in like with a boy.  We'll name him Wrinkle Nose (his cutest quality).

My friend (let's call her Lulu) thought that Wrinkle Nose was hot stuff- a H.O.N., if you will (Hottie of Nature for all you non-6th grade lingo people).

One day Lulu made the mistake of telling her other friend (not me) that she was in deep smit with Wrinkle Nose.


That momentary lapse in judgment looked Lulu right in the eyes and punched her in the throat. Soon thereafter, the "friend" TOLD Wrinkle Nose RIGHT IN FRONT of Lulu that Lulu liked him.

And in a moment of extreme sensitivity, Wrinkle Nose looked a Lulu and with all the masculinity he could muster, squeaked out "Tell her to dream on."

Lulu was crushed. Like a grape. She swore that one day, ONE DAY Wrinkle Nose would be sorry- sorry for all of the tears and cursing and fist shaking!  

She would be gorgeous when she grew up. (Which I think just meant that she'd wear make-up and comb her hair...) 
She would be valedictorian.  
She would be on the Dean's List in College.  
She would really be something someday.  
Then he'd be sorry.

Someday he would be flipping her Big Mac.  Ooo, oo, ooo.  She reveled in the thought of his current cute wrinkly nose becoming all old and non-attractive and wrinkly and sweaty and greasy.  HA! Take that, you!

So, I'm not bitter.

But that moment was my turn around. All I could do was dream and work and try to make those goals happen.  And guess what?  I have done all of that stuff. Checked it off my to-do list. Done!  Entered into the pool for being a valedictorian speaker in High School, and now I just got my letter of admittance to the Dean's list. It is terribly juvenile- I know.  But I just had to get it out there.  My awkward little 6th grade self just crossed over.  Closure!

So there. Take that Wrinkle Nose.

Friday, April 29, 2011








No, I'm not talking about a tall, dark and handsome certain someone; although, mmm mmmm mmmm, that would be nice.  I am talking about IKEA.  Now take a moment to re-read the previous adjectives, and I am certain you will agree.


As I's thinkin' about IKEA, I thinked to myself- "Self, what does IKEA even mean?? How can I endorse a place that I don't even know what is? It could mean 'flea jumping off a dog's back' in Swedish for all I know!"

So lucky for you, I will now satisfy that burning curiosity!

According to

"IKEA is an acronym made up of four letters: I K E A. I is for Ingvar, the first name of the founder of IKEA stores. K is for Kamprad, the last name of the founder of IKEA stores. E is for Elmtaryd, the name of the farm where Ingvar Kamprad grew up. A is for Agunnaryd, the name of the village near Kamprad's boyhood home. That's where the name IKEA came from!"


This to-do list pass off was to eat IKEA meatballs.  I had heard that they were the best Swedish meatballs... EVER... so I just had to try them.   

 Mother Dear and I went to IKEA, and after "oohing" and "aahing" sufficiently over IKEA merchandise, we sat down to this pass-off. Above: our Meatballs.  Yes, they are as tasty as they appear.
Now, another thing that we tried is called "Princess Cake"-- it was sponge cake, whipped cream, raspberry jam, and booger green marzipan.  Why that made the creator think of princesses is a little beyond me...

Some people call it mucus, but it's snot.

Lastly, we ALSO tried a Spinach Crepe combo. Delicious!

Pretty much what I'm trying to say here is that IKEA's food is as great as the actual place. Wow! This was a fabulous pass-off.