The above is my victim. Err.... I mean, client... Can you guess what this thing-to-do-before-I-die is? Tally your points, make a wager, and compare with the correct answer.

Cut someone's hair.
BUAH AH AH AH AH AH!

That's me looking nervous. Having a nervous haircutter is like having a blind surgeon: "Oops! That looked like the other thing... no worries! That's nothing a little sew, sew here and there won't fix!" Or perhaps, to quote the famous Brian Regan:

I’m always putting my foot in my mouth. I don’t stop to think. Oh, no!...words are coming out…oh, no…I’m not thinking…what is that? Like I met this woman recently; I could have sworn she was pregnant, lemme tell ya. [crowd moans] I know, now. I think the rule is: Don’t guess at that ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever. Something like that. I didn’t have enough evers memorized. So I said, “When’s that …b…aby due?” You ever feel a word coming out but it’s too late to stop it? Whoa! It’s coming out and loud… “Hey, when’s that BABY due? BABY!”

“What baby?”

Have you ever guessed somebody’s gender wrong? There’s no recovering from that. You’ve just gotta move on because you ain’t wrigglin’ out of nothin’. “Hey, excuse me, sir.”

“MA’AM!”

“OK. Bye, Human. Bye, Person. Nice to meet you, Individual.”

So yeah, it's kinda like that.... But Go-Bot wasn't a wimp about it at all! He willingly let me cut his hair and was not even worried one little bit about the fact that school was on Monday!

What a good sport.

And that whole previous statement thing: yeah, it was all a lie. A BIG, FAT (oh, so fat) LIE! He whimpered and blubbered the WHOLE TIME! The above picture is him squirming around because I "caught his hair in the blade" or something. *Sheesh*

But the thing that makes the whole thing so much more sad and pathetic, was the fact that my dad was standing RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME TELLING ME HOW TO CUT THE HAIR! I wasn't even flying by the seat of my pants on this one!!! But "wah wah wah", grown-up, 18 year old Go-Bot had a cow the whole time.

The good news is that now, at least, we have a brand new baby cow!

So in case you are totally bored from reading that all and just want the punchline: He didn't die. He didn't even get cut. I didn't even nick that super sensitive part right behind the ear! And he turned out looking FABULOUS!

Don't you agree?

Hmmmm.... I wonder what this post could possibly be about...? I'll give you ONE guess!

wowitsabeeeeey.tumblr.com
That's right. Homemade Tootsie Rolls! I bet you didn't even know that you COULD make Tootsie Rolls from scratch! BUT YOU CAN! You were sadly misinformed.

So here are the directions in case you want to ever make these as a family type activity. It is AMAZINGLY fun! I am thinking that someday when I have a classroom, this will definitely be one of the activities that we will do. The recipe is from the "World Wide Ward Cookbook" compiled by Diana Buxton. BUT! Contrary to the index, the recipe is on page 300 (I mean, really Editors? 291? And yet, I fall for it every time...)

Easy Homemade Tootsie Rolls
2 T butter, softened
1/2 c. baking cocoa
3 c. Powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 c. Instant powdered milk
1/2 c. white corn syrup

Mix all ingredients together. Knead like you would for bread. Roll into rope shapes and cut into desired lengths. Makes 2 dozen.

The above picture is what it looks like before you knead it. We were very puzzled, but with a little kneading, BAM! You've got Tootsie Rolls in your hands! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?! It's like MAGIC!
Ms. Clavell, Ju, The American, West Side, and ktln as the Tootsie Roll Brigade (TRB).
Among other things, the little bear is made of Tootsie. It is what is lovingly referred to as a Tootsie Bear. (One of my more clever moments...) I can't bear (ha ha ha) to eat him!! HE EVEN HAS A BOWTIE (not pictured...) So he's just chillin' on our counter, daring someone to eat him. Don't get cocky, buddy boy-you know what always happens next!

GET IT?

CHINESE FIRE DRILL, BABY! One thing to do before I die was a Chinese Fire Drill. See, whatcha do is park the car on a street, everyone SCRAMBLES out of the car, RUNS all the way around the car, DIVES back into the car and DRIVE away without being hit by a car, caught by the police, or getting hurt in the process.

Success.

KTLN, Ms. Clavell, and I (after riding the "rollercoaster road" in Orem) accomplished this feat without so much as a scratch on ourselves, our permanent records, or the car.

Though looking over our shoulder as we were driving off, a car was following close behind- no worries. WE LIVED!!!

Follow-up on the Sardine MADNESS!!!

Santa got me the most amazing present this year! HOW DID HE KNOW!?!?!?!

He's Santa- that's how!!

It's a tin packed full of SARDINES!!!!!

Chocolate Sardines that is...

Additionally, I found this AMAZING book called Arlene the Sardine by Chris Raschka. It is about a little brisling (the sardine predecessor) who wanted to be a sardine. So that's just what she did. Which meant that she died... within the first 7 pages....

It was a thoroughly bizarre book...BUT I LOVED IT! So morbid... BUT SO AWESOME!

Anyway, here is a link to the Amazon page-- click on the picture to look inside the book. There are only a few images from inside the book, but I think you get the picture. Anywho. Great story :) But don't take my word for it! Check it out at your local library!!

WOW! Three posts in one day!! (Can you tell it's Christmas break?) I would just like to inform you all that my puppetry class was AMAZING in EVERY WAY!! So I recommend it to anyone and EVERYONE that feels the slightest inclination to join the class. Here is a hyperlink to my last *sniff sniff* puppet show that I created and performed. I hope you enjoy it!

"How to play Rock, Paper, Scissors"

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE MONTE L. BEAN LIFE (death...) SCIENCE MUSEUM!

The top picture is the nativity scene that was on my to-do list. All those animals welcoming baby Jesus in the world! That must have been quite the stable! It really was beautiful, though.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

That picture is us in front of the nativity scene. I think it is such a funny picture because we had take two others before it and we looked like we had double chins. So we figured that if we stretched out our necks it wouldn't look like we had a double chin anymore.

Did it work...? You decide.

Anyway, because this blog is so accomodating, I have also included reference to Ms. Clavell's to-do list. She wanted to stick her head into the hippopotamus' mouth. AHHH! SHE'S BEING EATEN!!!

And of course, KTLN wanted to be next to her favorite animal: the giraffe!

OOOOOOOH!!! A TARANTULA!!!!

That's right. One of my things to do before I die is to hold a tarantula- like, a live one. I mean, a real, live tarantula- hold it in my hands- my actual hands! So the other day Ms Clavell and I went to the Bean Museum (my favorite place on EARTH!) to check out their nativity scene (another thing on my list). As we were waiting for KTLN to join us, we happened upon a museum show of Utah Animals. So we sat down and what did our eyes behold?!?!

THE DEMONSTRATOR SHOWING A TARANTULA!!

And I was all, like, totally, "I GOTTA DO THAT BEFORE I DIE!!!"

And then I got very scared because, see, I have a fear of spiders. NOT AS BAD AS IT USED TO BE! 'Cuz I lived in the basement for a number of years, and when you live down there you pretty much wake up to spiders and have to say:

"Hello Spider, how are you? Might I say how black your belly is looking? And how bright your eyes? Spider, have you lost weight? How is your mother and your eight million brothers and sisters that are also living in my basement bedroom?"

That's what you gotta say. It's just polite.

So I held the big 'ol spider- but guess what? It only had 7 legs!! I guess when it was molting, one of the legs just popped off! (I wonder what sound that made...) So of course I looked up Tarantulas and found this video about tarantula molting. I guess they leave behind their whole skin- like fur and all! So it looks like there are 2 tarantulas in the tank after it is done molting- but no, there is just one.

Molting video

That's just in case you want to look up the video- it's actually very interesting.

Now I'm not so afraid of spiders or tarantulas. Their feet felt sticky, but really it was their little sharp claws and all the fur on their feet.

Well folks, I recommend holding a tarantula if you get the chance. It's very informative and educational. Not scary at all! Well... my hands may have been shaking a little bit the whole time...