14000 Things to do BEFORE I die

The above is my victim. Err.... I mean, client... Can you guess what this thing-to-do-before-I-die is? Tally your points, make a wager, and compare with the correct answer.

Cut someone's hair.
BUAH AH AH AH AH AH!

That's me looking nervous. Having a nervous haircutter is like having a blind surgeon: "Oops! That looked like the other thing... no worries! That's nothing a little sew, sew here and there won't fix!" Or perhaps, to quote the famous Brian Regan:

I’m always putting my foot in my mouth. I don’t stop to think. Oh, no!...words are coming out…oh, no…I’m not thinking…what is that? Like I met this woman recently; I could have sworn she was pregnant, lemme tell ya. [crowd moans] I know, now. I think the rule is: Don’t guess at that ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever. Something like that. I didn’t have enough evers memorized. So I said, “When’s that …b…aby due?” You ever feel a word coming out but it’s too late to stop it? Whoa! It’s coming out and loud… “Hey, when’s that BABY due? BABY!”

“What baby?”

Have you ever guessed somebody’s gender wrong? There’s no recovering from that. You’ve just gotta move on because you ain’t wrigglin’ out of nothin’. “Hey, excuse me, sir.”

“MA’AM!”

“OK. Bye, Human. Bye, Person. Nice to meet you, Individual.”

So yeah, it's kinda like that.... But Go-Bot wasn't a wimp about it at all! He willingly let me cut his hair and was not even worried one little bit about the fact that school was on Monday!

What a good sport.

And that whole previous statement thing: yeah, it was all a lie. A BIG, FAT (oh, so fat) LIE! He whimpered and blubbered the WHOLE TIME! The above picture is him squirming around because I "caught his hair in the blade" or something. *Sheesh*

But the thing that makes the whole thing so much more sad and pathetic, was the fact that my dad was standing RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME TELLING ME HOW TO CUT THE HAIR! I wasn't even flying by the seat of my pants on this one!!! But "wah wah wah", grown-up, 18 year old Go-Bot had a cow the whole time.

The good news is that now, at least, we have a brand new baby cow!

So in case you are totally bored from reading that all and just want the punchline: He didn't die. He didn't even get cut. I didn't even nick that super sensitive part right behind the ear! And he turned out looking FABULOUS!

Don't you agree?