I gotta kitten.
I gotta kitten.
So, one of the things to do before I die is knit a sweater. What does that have to do with kittens? Hold your horses, man!
So, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying: So, one of the things to do before I die is knit a sweater. I recently learned how to crochet. (oh, wow! Way to introduce a THIRD unrelated topic!) SO! We have a kitten and her name is Cadie (Cadie Cat. Or Kitten Little. Or Stinky. Or Cleo- as in CleoCATra. Really, the names are interchangeable.) Anyway, last year on my birthday we got this beautiful little runt orange tabby cat. Oh how she loved people. Oh how she purred. Oh how she adored being adored.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
So, one of the things to do before I die is knit a sweater. What does that have to do with kittens? Hold your horses, man!
So, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was saying: So, one of the things to do before I die is knit a sweater. I recently learned how to crochet. (oh, wow! Way to introduce a THIRD unrelated topic!) SO! We have a kitten and her name is Cadie (Cadie Cat. Or Kitten Little. Or Stinky. Or Cleo- as in CleoCATra. Really, the names are interchangeable.) Anyway, last year on my birthday we got this beautiful little runt orange tabby cat. Oh how she loved people. Oh how she purred. Oh how she adored being adored.
Does the fact that all of the positive qualities of said cat are past seem odd to you?
Now she is a pure, through and through, man hater. Except for my dad. She LOVES him. She sleeps in his arm pit and sticks her paw up his nose for crying in a bucket!!
And Dad loves her. So therefore, Mom loves her. But Kitten Little (Cadie Cat, Stinky, etc) hates all other things that live.
So, after coming home to find that monstrosity thriving in our house, I decided to do something about it. With hands scratched up and a wounded ego, I set to work with my most diabolical plan yet.
That's right. I crocheted her a kitty sweater.
It was even in a wonderfully contrasting color! Needless to say, my parents were not amused. "If it was any other of our three animals at our house!" They said. But no. Only one deserved such treatment.
I think they love her more than their own children! (oooh! What a nice, new firebox!) Really, if you think about it hard enough-- I could just be doing her a service! What if the little kitty was chilly or something?
But given the brand, spankin' new firebox that is oh, so efficient, and the fact that she is covered with fur, I find the chilliness possibility not so possible.
All I can say is, vengeance is sweet. Do I regret inflicting public humiliation on said animal?
Now she is a pure, through and through, man hater. Except for my dad. She LOVES him. She sleeps in his arm pit and sticks her paw up his nose for crying in a bucket!!
And Dad loves her. So therefore, Mom loves her. But Kitten Little (Cadie Cat, Stinky, etc) hates all other things that live.
So, after coming home to find that monstrosity thriving in our house, I decided to do something about it. With hands scratched up and a wounded ego, I set to work with my most diabolical plan yet.
That's right. I crocheted her a kitty sweater.
It was even in a wonderfully contrasting color! Needless to say, my parents were not amused. "If it was any other of our three animals at our house!" They said. But no. Only one deserved such treatment.
I think they love her more than their own children! (oooh! What a nice, new firebox!) Really, if you think about it hard enough-- I could just be doing her a service! What if the little kitty was chilly or something?
But given the brand, spankin' new firebox that is oh, so efficient, and the fact that she is covered with fur, I find the chilliness possibility not so possible.All I can say is, vengeance is sweet. Do I regret inflicting public humiliation on said animal?
No.
"And Dad loves her. So therefore, Mom loves her. But she hates all other things that live."
ReplyDeleteYour mom hates all other things that live??? Wow, your mom is a beast!
Oops :) The error has been corrected!
ReplyDelete